


More Than Just a Memory

by OutlandishWhalesharks



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, S.W.O.R.D.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 06:24:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11731329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OutlandishWhalesharks/pseuds/OutlandishWhalesharks
Summary: Ward has been hiding something since he left the Framework.orMy hopes and theories for Season 5





	More Than Just a Memory

**Author's Note:**

> So I have been in a bit of funk and while I have been writing fairly consistantly I just can't seem to finish anything. I just couldn't get my theories and hopes for season 5 out of my head, however I only really have specific conversations in my head and connecting it all together gets hard. I therefore decided to write a multi-chapter drabble fic that I plan to keep adding to.
> 
> Fic title is from "If I Ever Leave This World Alive" by Flogging Molly.
> 
> The chapter title is from "Sight of the Sun" by FUN.

1\. Just Some Scars From a Life That Used to Trouble Me

“There is something else there, something other then Grant Ward.” Abigail Brand turns toward him, her voice stern . “Have you been experiencing memories that aren’t from the frame work or your first life?”

He hangs his head in resigned confirmation. Grant has been dreading this moment since he left the Framework and was brought to the Peak. 

“We have been studying your mind for weeks and you didn’t think to tell us this information?” The head of S.W.O.R.D continues, clearly angered by his omission.

“I didn’t know what the other memories were, but I knew they wouldn’t go over well.” His voice is quite he scans the room trying to get a read on everyone’s reactions. Most wear blank masks, but Jemma’s face is a mix of worry and anger.

“Of course he lied, it’s what he does. So exactly how bad are these memories that you felt it best to keep from us?” Simmons’ voice is full of sarcastic disdain as it has been every time she speaks to him.

He doesn’t want to answer. A part of him wants to lie, working out the best way to play the situation to his advantage. He pushes those thoughts away as he does most of his. No, he is just starting to gain some resemblance of freedom, he has just been aloud to join the team on missions he doesn’t want to give them up as they are such great distractions from everything else. And if he’s being honest none of that really matters, he can’t, or rather doesn’t want to lie to her. 

He looks her in the eye for a brief moment and says “You.” He abruptly shifts his view to the floor, he doesn’t want to see the look of disgust on her face. “You smiling at me laughing, happily babbling to me about science, you and me, well not me I guess, together…” He lets his words fall to silence leaving the obvious unsaid.

Fitz is nodding absent mindedly, Ward can practically see the wheels in his head turning all this around. He doesn’t seem surprised, they have spent a lot of time together lately, finding a sort of kinship through shared experiences and memories of being monsters. The other man has had plenty of time to observe the specialist’s slip ups. Fitz looks towards Grant. “When did it start? These other memories, was it when you went through the portal like your other self’s memories?” The two men have made it a point to make the distinction between the monsters and the men when discussing their pasts.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “No, they are different than that. My memories from before came back all at once after leaving the Framework, just like yours, two lifes I remember clearly. These other memories are fuzzier bits and pieces triggered by…” he pauses a moment his eyes darting towards Jemma for half a second until she shutters. “It started in the Framework. When…Agnes died, when Simmons begged me not to kill...the Doctor.” He can see the shame and grief clear on Fitz face. 

Jemma is shaking her head violently. “No, no! That’s Grant Ward, the man who consistently lied and betrayed us, the man who threw us out of a plane, who had me tortured! That is not the man I loved, he’s not the doom to my hope.” She lets out a small strangled noise. “Will died saving me! Ward died because he was arrogant and wouldn’t come to terms with the consequences to his actions.” She’s glaring at him with wet eyes he can’t stand it and wants to comfort her but knows that is impossible.

Grant’s eyes darken. “I know.” He growls, with an intensity clearly reminiscent of his former self, the room tenses instantaneously. Jemma’s eyes grow big, Daisy’s mouth drops, May’s hand falls to the weapon at her hip. Fitz starts to move towards them but Coulson puts his arm out and takes his place, begrudgingly the engineer steps back, he knows his involvement won’t help anything. 

He tries to soften his tone, although he can’t entirely, leaving his voice gravely. “You think I don’t run those moments over and over in my mind. That I don’t make myself relive them every time your smile fills me with that hope.” He’s practically shaking, shocked by his confession. 

She’s shaking too, staring at him, her eyes have tears pooled up at the corners, just waiting to give way.

He bow’s his head in a whisper he says “I am truly sorry Jemma.”

At that the damn breaks, tears falling. Her hand flies to her mouth, her head shaking in disbelief as she turns and leaves the room.

Grant wants desperately to follow her, though he knows she doesn’t want him too, besides not a single person in the room would let him. Left without many options he turns to leave in the opposite direction.

The guards at the door stop him. “Where exactly are you going?” Brand says, her voice even yet laced with warning.

“Gym. I’ve said all I’m going to right now.” Grant turns his head slightly to address her, but keeps his back to the room. “Besides I know you will all want to discuss this privately.” 

Brand nods at the guards and they step away allowing him to stomp off, left alone with all of his thoughts, and some not entirely his.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it and it at least made some sense, hopefuuly the other will clear some things up, but please fell free to ask if your super confused. 
> 
> You might have noticed that some of this is similar to my I Want To Start Again fic and I have at least one more story in my mind using the same plot point becuase I just can't stop obsessing over this theory. I go into detail of this theory on [my tumblr.](https://bowingoutlandishwhalesharks.tumblr.com/post/163894909855/frameworkgrantward-fan-theory) I would love to discuss it and pretty much all things Biospec. 
> 
> Friendly comments and feedback would be awesome and help my creative flow/muse!
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
